1. Lost Valley. How in the heck I got to be so blessed as to be chosen to work there, I have no idea. While there are so many times I'm sure I gripe about the ridiculous schedule or whine about having to live in the middle of nowhere, I really love it. I mean, seriously, it's probably not healthy to say how much I'm kind of obsessed with it. I was sad the day I got on the plane to come "home" to St. Louis for 2 months because I knew how much I was going to miss it, despite the fact I was exhausted from working there. And oh man, I do miss it. I've had the privilege of seeing LVL groups a couple times since I got home and I honestly get giddy everytime I'm with ranch people, because they UNDERSTAND. Saying goodbye to ranch friends for any length of time is hard, but at the same time, usually when I say those goodbyes, I know deep down that I'll see them again. It's the weirdest thing- I have SO many connections to that place and those people. Pretty much everywhere I go, there's some connection back to the valley. And all the people from the ranch I've gotten closest to, I've seen multiple times since they left the valley "for good." It kind of blows my mind when I think first getting out of the van when I first arrived in the valley. I was committed for a summer, with every intent of leaving at the end of the summer and checking out YL property staff. A year and a half later, I'm committed for 8 more months minimum and I love it more than I ever have. I don't idolize it- I've certainly seen the problems that exist there and I've watched people grow stagnant in their time there. Lord willing that won't be me. I think the biggest thing that brought me to this realization was seeing these LVL groups during my break. First I had lunch with Jake when I went to Taylor for a weekend. Then I saw Jake, Hanna, and Caroline in Indy as stop #2 on my big roadtrip I just completed. The funny thing about that time was that I have only worked a couple days with Jake and Hanna and yet I consider them great friends. All of us had SO much fun together and honestly, if I could rewind to that night, I completely would. The trio continued on to Hilton Head for the 2010 summer staff reunion and I kept in touch with them during the entire trip, laughing at the descriptions of lost valley groups out in public. I think we all forget (or don't really care) that we don't live out in the real world together very often and we tend to be a little ridiculous. The last stop of my 11-day roadtrip was Birmingham, AL for a Lost Valley wedding. Man, we were out of control. The group of us that came for the wedding all attended a brunch the morning of the wedding, which was fabulous, but we had to actively work to integrate with the other guests at the brunch. Then we spent the rest of the day before the wedding together and again, out of control. I think we spent a good hour in Bed Bath & Beyond, finding wedding gifts and hanging out in the store, probably being a nuisance. Then came the actual wedding/ reception. We weren't all seated together during the ceremony, which was probably a very good thing because the other 2 people I sat with- we couldn't stop chatting it up during the wedding. We were tasteful, but I can only imagine what 15 of us all together would've been like. The reception was completely hilarious. So I actually knew a few other people there, most of them friends of Roxy's that I had met but one of them was a girlfriend of one of the yearlong interns/ a girl who had been on summer staff. I felt kind of bad when I realized at the end of the night that I really hadn't talked to her at all because I was so content to be with all my ranch friends. We were a group together on the dance floor, we hovered around the same table and next to Roxy's group of friends from school, I think we were definitely the largest presence at the wedding. And we were definitely the only friends to know both the bride and groom, which made the wedding extra fun for me.
Most of the lost valley group at the wedding. It's not the best picture, and it's not edited but I don't even really care. The smiles are so genuine, the night was so fun.
1a. Another reason I've been reflecting on lost valley so much as been the realization that everywhere else in my life right now is so filled with NOISE. Gosh, even driving in the car on the way to this coffeeshop where I sit to write this, I got so fed up with how loud and obnoxious the radio seemed so I just turned it off. This wasn't even the first coffee shop I stopped at. I went to another one but it was so full of people and they play their music way too loud so I got back in the car and drove here. It's still loud here; I kind of long for the days when I could go to Payne's in the middle of the day and be the only person there besides the barista. Or I miss driving into BV and going to the View cafe. It certainly didn't have the best coffee in town, but it was always so quiet- the baristas were usually surprised to see me in there- wondering why I'd want to come sit by myself. Why do we feel the need to fill our lives with so much noise all the time? It's a topic that I dwelled on a lot in college due to different seminars and conferences and I always knew I had a lot of "noise" in my life but I didn't really take any steps to eliminate some of that noise. Now, after living in a couple of very quiet places, I realize how much I HATE all the noise. The first day back to work after all the summer campers left at Frontier, the first thing I noticed? How QUIET it was. The first thing I noticed about living up at the Doublewide? How quiet it could be. It's so peaceful to live in quiet. It honestly pushes me to reflect and think about what the Lord is doing in my life. I can't wait to get back to Colorado and the quiet of the wide open spaces.
2. I don't really know how to title this section or even really bring these thoughts into a concise statement. I could call it reality or character or intentionality; I don't know. Something. Ok, so about a week ago, I was in Knoxville having coffee with Callie, one of my summer staff girls from Frontier. We got to talking about life and boys and relationships. Part of this could definitely have been a result of my sleep deprivation (I had been up since 3 that morning, running on about an hour of sleep and it was about 10 pm) but the conversation came up again with my friend Julie and I've kept dwelling on it since, so I'm pretty sure it matters to me. Callie started telling me about this boy who had kind of been pursuing her but had never really told her how he felt, just left her with this ambiguous statement about what was going on between them. She was anxious and wanted some kind of definition about where they stood. Of course she did; newsflash boys: girls ALWAYS want some kind of concrete statement. We always want you to say, "hey, I like you. I want to date you." Or even, "hey, I like you. Let's see where this goes but know I'm pursuing you." I started talking about the bible study we did at the ranch this fall on the book, "Lies Women Believe". It's a pretty decent book. Take it with a grain of salt but I think I'd recommend it. One of the biggest take-aways I had from the study was that our sin as women, tracing all the way back to Eve, was that WE WANT CONTROL. Jesus told us to submit. We want to not submit- we want to be in charge. The more I grow and seek the Lord, the more I want a man who will seek the Lord and lead me, but that is definitely a result of my growth in the Lord. And when I'm weak? I want control. I want definition. I want things to go my way. I don't want to submit to the Lord's will and plan; I want my own agenda accomplished. I don't want to be patient- I just want the Lord to tell me His plan. I want the guy I'm supposed to marry to show up and tell me right now how he feels. So two things I've been learning and dwelling on and become passionate about: girls- ps. 46:10- "be still and know that I am God". Take it to heart. There's a million other verses about being obedient and submitting and waiting on the Lord. Ps. 27:14- "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." If you want a man to lead, give him the chance to. Be patient and a real man will seek you out and pursue you. Guys- step up. Be intentional. Pursue girls. Tell them how you feel. LEAD THEM. You are called to be leaders so be exactly that. You want a woman to submit? Then lead so she can submit. The wedding I was just at was for a couple who lived this out, to the max. One of the bridesmaids asked all of us who worked with the couple at lost valley if we saw their marriage coming. There were some mixed reactions but one thing we could all agree on was that Scott started to pursue Roxy and they were both extremely intentional from the minute they started their relationship. For a year they were long-distance and Scott told Roxy how he felt in August and they didn't really start dating until they first saw each other, which wasn't until October but good gracious, that boy pursued her. He called her, he prayed for her, and he sought her out, even despite their Ohio to South Carolina long-distance. He led that relationship and now he's leading their marriage. I'm going to try my best to do my part, to be still and wait on the Lord and submit and hopefully, it'll give some man the opportunity to step up and lead. Can you tell I'm a little passionate about this topic? I wish you could see how fired up I am about this just sitting here alone in a coffeeshop.
Ok, I need to get going, they're about to close. I know I don't have many readers, but hopefully some glimmer of God's truth was reflected to those of you reading this. That and the gratitude I have for getting to live this awesome life I live. Thanks be to God.
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